A person is a person because it lives. It lives by being faced by problems, making decisions in trying to solve them, is faced by problems consequent to the decision... and all over again.
Had each person lived alone, then it wouldn't be such a problem: life problems would be only naturally-imposed or self-imposed problems. However, the person is not alone. It lives in a community made up of thousands of other individuals, each with its own problem-decision-consequence cycle.
This leads to the person having to face not only the nature and self-imposed problems, but also problems created by the decision-making (or lack of) of others. These may lead to confrontations between the two persons until either one of the two steps down, or a neutral agreement is reached.
The plot thickens when the two individuals love each other, 'love' in the 'care about' sense.
The decision-making becomes tougher: one will have to do away with decisions which might harm or somehow badly influence the other loved person. This narrows the choice, making a search for further alternatives necessary. At the end of it all, the final decision taken might still create a problem for the other loved individual, sending up in smoke all the pain taken by the decision-maker. A solution for the latter problem would be for the decision-maker to discuss all its available options with the other individual BEFORE making the actual decision, such that the best action is taken.
When couples go through a tough time, with their relationships going between caresses and hot arguments, they should check what type of decision-making are they adopting in their day-to-day life together: the first or the second? Preferably, the second type should be implemented, acknowleding the fact that this needs lots of open communication and sincerity.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Women and Idols
Try as I might, I cannot perceive why females get so crazy about boys who look nice and sing. Being a boy doesn't help the understanding at all. I know it's something to do with their adolescence, but it looks stupid to me.
I mean, what's the difference between us boyfriends and them idols? Why is it that every wrong they do isn't condemnable while a small error from our part implies a thunderstorm? Why is it that whenever the girls see them, they melt and when they see us, it sometimes feels as if we didn't even exist?
Is it, maybe, that deep down they know the idols can never be theirs (and thus they won't be burdened by their troubles) while we are an eternal cross on their backs? Why does an idol's wink bring more joy than any gift we can ever present?
I go as far as comparing this girls' behavior to the boys' inclination of appreciation of the females' body without consideration of the person within.
The big difference is that they boys' act is morally and socially deplorable while the girls' acts are widely accepted and manifested en masse all over the world and through all media.
I suppose girlfriends totally detest it when their boyfriends fix their eyes on some sexy gal. May they know that us men feel as much, if not more, in a bad state when they melt at the sight of these idols.
God grant us to be happy with what we have. "Wish not another man's woman" was his 10th commandment. Is there room for the corollary?
I mean, what's the difference between us boyfriends and them idols? Why is it that every wrong they do isn't condemnable while a small error from our part implies a thunderstorm? Why is it that whenever the girls see them, they melt and when they see us, it sometimes feels as if we didn't even exist?
Is it, maybe, that deep down they know the idols can never be theirs (and thus they won't be burdened by their troubles) while we are an eternal cross on their backs? Why does an idol's wink bring more joy than any gift we can ever present?
I go as far as comparing this girls' behavior to the boys' inclination of appreciation of the females' body without consideration of the person within.
The big difference is that they boys' act is morally and socially deplorable while the girls' acts are widely accepted and manifested en masse all over the world and through all media.
I suppose girlfriends totally detest it when their boyfriends fix their eyes on some sexy gal. May they know that us men feel as much, if not more, in a bad state when they melt at the sight of these idols.
God grant us to be happy with what we have. "Wish not another man's woman" was his 10th commandment. Is there room for the corollary?
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